A ray of light & a slap of reality ...
What I would give to be 15 again ... But, then at that age (when we think we know everything but wont dare admit it) we can't wait to grow up & then .... POW - it happens & all we want is to jump in a time machine & go back to our teens again.I'm sounding older & older with every key stroke. Bills, bills, bills - never-ending bills. On occasion when I get a flyer or magazine in the mail - I'm actually excited because they don't want money from me! How pathetic can I get? Oh, much more I'm sure.
At 16 I made a decision that I shouldn't have made. I decided to leave high-school & move to Florida with my father who had been non-existant in my life up until about 3 months prior. Sound stupid? It was. I was told I would be able to go back to school but then never allowed. Sound crazy? It is - my father owed over $20G's in back child support & thought the state we lived in would find him & make him pay if I enrolled in any school. Why that didn't put up any red-flags for me I'll never know. But, then I was 16 & thought I knew everything. Maybe if I'd had proper guidance before making that decision it would have been different - but it was a decision I made none-the-less. That decision changed my life.
Can we count on the ones we love all the time? Probably not. Why? Because we're all human & we all fuck up. Should we forgive those that fuck up & rip your heart out & mess you up for life? Yeah, I'm gonna say - NO. But, hey that's just me & what do I know - I'm just a Blonde Bimbo.
At this point in my life - I have earned everything myself - no help from mommy or daddy. I wasn't given a car for my 16th birthday - in fact I didn't even get my license until I was 19 & I had to buy my own car. I worked from the age of 16 to now & I've worked my ass off to get where I am today. Nothing was handed to me & you know what - I'm glad! I was always taught to be independent (sometimes taught the hard way) & I am so thankful for that. In my early to late 20's my mother ended up being my best friend. At times I hated it because I needed my mom & not a friend but I wouldn't trade it for anything now (that she's gone). I am confident & 110% sure that my mom & I wouldn't have gottent that close had I not made the decisions I did in my life. Therefore - I guess I really have no regrets. One tiny little thing can change EVERYTHING. So often we forget about consequences (sp?).
Take a minute to reflect on your life. Are you happy with what you've done? Where you're going? A lot of people aren't - you'd be surprised.
Apologies to those that I've bored to death.
Tonight's workout (done @ 6:30):
Back & Bi's & a little Tri's (I got carried away) + cardio - supersets:
** Jumprope - 100 "jumps straight"
8 reps: Bicep Curls - 10#'s
8 reps: Tricep Overhead Extensions - 10#'s
** Jumprope - 100 "jumps straight"
8 reps: Body Hammer Curls - 15#
8 reps: Close Grip Lat Pulldowns - 40#'s
** Jumprope - 100 "jumps straight"
8 reps: Concentration Curls (regular on body-ball) - 10#'s
8 reps: Rows - 40#
** Jumprope - 100 "jumps straight"
---> total "jumps": 400 - I love jumping rope - it's great cardio to sneak inbetween weight training & it's reminiscent of my childhood :-)
Ok, enough for today. My stomach & full from my protein shake & America's Next Top Model is on (Lost is a re-run). More tomorrow..........
posted by Openfields @ 11:13 PM
