Free Ipod Nano link
Ok, I'm trying this free IPOD business out. Here's the link below if anyone else would like to try it. I'll keep you posted & let you know when I get mine. I have seen it work for other people so here goes!
http://ipodnanos.freepay.com/?r=24221768
Hiking day
My husband, Lucy (our beagle) & I went for a nice hike this morning/afternoon. Since it's been raining for a straight 9 days & today was the first day we saw the sun (was it nice!) there was a lot of flooding. Needless to say - I have me some wet feet & pants but if you don't enjoy the outdoors what fun is there. It was so refreshing to get outside & do something. I love nature & the outdoors always seem to revive me. All the lakes were overflowed & the park was actually blocked off to cars which made our hike even nicer (longer).
Lucy loved it too - as you can see. She scoped out the trails to give us the ok to go. She had such a blast that now she's passed out on the couch dreaming her little heart out.
I'd say we hiked a good 2 miles or so - nothing big but was enjoyable none-the-less. The leaves are starting to change & are nicely layed out on the trail to guide are way. Pine needles are starting to fall too. I just love walking on beds of pine needles - so soft & quiet.
We didn't see much in the way of wild life - just your average squirrels & chipmunks. I'm good with that though - I wouldn't be typing had I run into a bear now would I? LOL.
We ran into a few places where the lakes had overflowed so badly there was water blocking our trails. Luckilly the flooding is common in certain spots so they have make-shift bridges already in place. It was absolutely adorable how Lucy followed her Daddy on the bridge while I trailed behind with the camera. Jeeze, I just realized that I hogged the camera so much that only Mr.PTtobeGirl & Lucy are the picture stars!
Oh well, we had a splendid time. Lucy is now dreaming so vividly that she's barking in her sleep. I love when she does that (well, except when it's in the middle of the night & I'm trying to sleep). Being a beagle it's not a real bark & when she does it in her sleep it's even funnier. The best part is when she gets her feet going. She must be dreaming of chacing a squirrel or something. Speak of the devil - the feet are going now. Just twitching though - not running yet.
Well, that about covers today's excitement. Blog on!
Inner workings
Tonights workout will be back & bi's
& chest & tri's because I missed my workout having had appt's & was a bad doobie & didn't work around my appt's like I should have. It's sad, I remember when nothing interfered with my workouts & I can't wait to get my head straight so I can get back on track! I'm on way.
My appointment with the psychologist went really well although I almost walked out when I realized that my appointment was with the same lady that did our Sexual harassment training at the office! I toughed it out & stayed though & I'm glad I did. She has great insight & just talking to her did wonders. She confirmed that I am indeed depressed (duh
*) & that I should surely be on medication. She is not sure if I am bi-polar as my previous doc thought however she said that that takes time to determine & made me an appt with one of the psychiatrists (the one that she admits she likes the best) for the 24th. I will have another meeting with her before hand (next Thursday) as well.
It feels so good to talk to someone that understands me. We all think we're so individual however depressed people fall into symptoms & character so incredibly similar to each other that they are easily categorized. She'll ask me questions & I'll be saying "Yes!" & thinking to myself - "Wow, she really knows me!". It's so enlightening. Knowing that she knows my (I hate to call it this but) illness I feel confident that she & my other doc can help me to get better control of it.
I know, I haven't shared much (if anything) about this on here so you're all probably bored to death, rolling your eyes or just plain baffled. Here's why: I see my depression as a weakness & I don't take well to weak people. Sounds brutal doesn't it? I've always been like that. I'm the most judgmental person I know. Well, my doctor (Kathy) says that's a result of my upbringing (abusive, alcoholism, yada, yada, yada - I'll spare you details). She said that children brought up in those circumstances tend to be the most judgmental (even of themselves - which is me to a "T"). Again, my meeting with her was so ENLIGHTENING! How strange that I find comfort in knowing that I'm a stereotype! LOL It's especially funny since I always strive to be different.
Well, enough about me & my inner workings but I am struggling to get through something right now so please bear with me. If you want to take a break from reading my blog for a while - I wont be insulted. This blog is as much for me as it is for you :-)
* Depression is not to be confused with people that are just sad & are in the dumps. People with depression can not just make a list of the things good & bad in their lives, slowly phase out the bad & be happy, smiling people like a good friend of mine suggested to me. This was suggested to me via email & I just couldn't respond. I mean how do I respond to that? I will say that her response is as much my fault as hers because she is not aware that my issues are more than just a rainy day because I've never told her. Her comment/advice is still insulting to me. If it were that easy doesn't she think I would have done that over 20 years ago? It's people such as her that do not understand depression that make people such as me be harder on myself & avoid treatment thinking I should be able to FIX this on my own! Not to blame her or speak bad of her because I do adore her & I again want to point out that she is a great friend & she is as strong minded as me. It's just that people like that make it that much harder for people like me to focus on themselves - they make me feel selfish. I judge myself more than I judge anyone else & her "advice" makes it all the more hard.I mentioned that to my doctor & she pointed out the obvious - that my friend doesn't understand. It's a chemical imbalance not just a sad mood. I can't FIX it (trust me, I've been trying for 20 years) by making a list. With treatment I'm sure that making such a list will help me but it wont cure me.As much as I like to play the girl with all the confidence in the world that only thinks about "Me! Me! Me!" it's just an act. I hate to admit that I can't FIX this problem. I wish I could & I struggle with the fact that I can't. It actually embarrasses me to no end to admit that I have this problem. I can't explain why other than not wanting to appear weak or admit that I have something I can't control. I finally realize that in order to get IN CONTROL again I have to admit this & address it & seek treatment. I am on a path & I know this time that it's the right one.
Man my legs
hurt. I went overboard with lunges (trying to work myself hard). It's day 2 & the pain should go away by tomorrow (I'm hoping!). They say "no pain, no gain" so I'm ok with it! Yesterday was chest & tri's so almost my entire body hurts now. Gotta love it! It's sad but I would never pass up the pain - it shows you that ya done good! Sick isn't it?
A word of advice: if your chicken (in the can for chicken salad) is pink - DON'T EAT IT! Mine was yesterday & I ended up with the worst cramps I've ever had. I felt like what I imagine it would if you got a tummy tuck. I couldn't straighten out myself because it caused unbearable pain. All this while I'm at the office - walking around like I've got some big ole booty ass. Everyone was looking at me with that "You're white & your booty aint big enough to walk like that!" look on their faces. I was lucky enough to find a Tums addicts & popped 3. I've never taken them before so I'm not sure if they helped or the cramps just subsided on their own. Either way - I'm glad they're gone!
Today is cardio, I think I'll just go for a nice run. It's a beautiful, rainy fall day (did I just say beautiful & rainy in the same sentence?).
The good:I've been eating clean - (religiously - turning over a new leaf). I'm getting in my 6 meals a day & using my last meal as strictly a protein meal. So far so good but I can't help it - all I think about is food! This always happens to me.
The bad:I dreamt I went out to eat with my husband, ordered a pizza while waiting for him to get to the table & proceeded to eat all but one piece. Then I sat there contemplating what I was going to tell him! It was awful.
The really bad:
I want to kill our new employee. He is driving me insane. He has a comment for everything & thinks he's a comedian - he's not. I
want to like him - but it's just not going to happen.
The update:Where have I really been? In a slump. I've been having a really hard time with mood swings. I suffer from depression but have a really hard time admitting my vulnerability. I guess I have a really big head (not literally - do I?) & I don't like to admit a weakness. Well, as of late I have finally come to the conclusion that the raging PMS (obscene irritability, edginess & hard to control just plain irrational behavior) is not PMS. It came way off schedule last time & lasted way too long with one day of normalcy & a long period of the drearies. I'm supposed to take medication & have in the past but I always stop taking it thinking I can handle this on my own. Well, I'm wrong (do not repeat that!). I don't like depending on someone else or something (medication) to keep me in control. I have an appt tomorrow (it was today but was rescheduled). Wish me luck!
The Workout:
3 sets of 10 supersets:
dumbell chest presses (on ball)
lying tricep extensions (on ball)
dumbell flyes (on ball)
tricep pressdowns (cable machine)
dumbell chest presses (incline bench)
tricep extensions (standing)
1 set of 10 dips
kickbacks until I could do no more ... (I only got out like 5 each arm)
Great workout & I'm a feeling it!
Yesterday's leg workout:
60 lunges (with heavy weight ouch!)
30 ball squats (with frontal raises)
3 sets of 10 frontal raises
3 sets of bent elbow lateral raises
1 set of 10 shoulder presses
2 sets of 10 arnold presses
Toodles all!
BTW - when they say exercise helps - they're not kidding. Without it I don't know where I'd be.
My perfect little niece ...
Here is a picture of my lovely niece Seija. She is wearing mittens because she was playing with her face & they didn't want her to scratch her purty, little, angelic, perfect face (so maybe I'm a proud aunt - shut up!). Aint she beautiful?
Here & there
--> that's me. I haven't been in touch with the Blog world at all. I hope everyone's doing well. I'll catch up with everyone soon. I've been very busy lately with workouts, working, etc, etc ...
I'll try to keep up with my blogging. Right now I'm trying to figure out this darned Nike MP3 player of mine. I've been running in silence way too long & haven't used my MP3 player in way too long .....
Hugs all around :-)
Lucy loved it too - as you can see. She scoped out the trails to give us the ok to go. She had such a blast that now she's passed out on the couch dreaming her little heart out.