I swear I'm crazy no wait I'm normal
no wait I'm crazy - which is it?This is becoming my normal routine wtf? I'm overanalyzing myself & it's getting out of hand I swear. Now I've always been an overanalyzer, it's part of my existence - it's what makes me - well, me but jeeze!
Here's something interesting:
When I was a teenager I dreamt I was someone else dying. I was in fact a man with dark hair, a mustache & I was (he was) in bed, dying (dead) & angelic voices were calling his name. The air (or atmosphere) around me (him) was bluish & then reddish in color with stars. My name (his name) escapes me now. Oh, what was it ... I forget. Regardless. I was & still am positive that I was in his body when he died. Sounds crazy huh?
Two nights ago I dreamt my own death:
I was home. I knew I was going to die. I was talking (in my own mind of course) to God & was "saying" can I go upstairs & lie down in my own bad rather than collapsing & dying on the floor & he said yes. I proceeded to walk upstairs (rather calmly) & lay down on my bed. I was happy to see my cat (who I call my little angel & swear he's my guardian angel). I put my hand on him when I laid down & I felt him - his fur - I remember feeling his fur in my dream (& when I woke up). I had a conversation with God in my head about it being ok that I was never Christened or baptized & that I had no need to fear going to hell, that I was a good person & he loved & accepted me & it was time. I was ready to die & I closed my eyes to die, at peace. This dream took place at current, it was not in the future.
I don't know. This freaks me out. I tend to have a 6th sense. But then, I also had a couple Coronas after taking my pills. But, I mean literally a couple - just 2 not like 12 so would that really have that kind of affect? I do have a vivid imagination & I do have a lot going through my head right now so I can see how my subconscious mind would want to put my conscious mind at ease ...
Anyway, hence my title ....
posted by Openfields @ 1:19 PM
