I don't think these pills are helping
I'm getting all irritable again and I want to cry & I have no money & I hate myself & I don't want to eat & I'm fat & I'm really not but I feel like I am because I weigh more than I (I think I) should but I don't want to take a different pill because they'll make me gain weight & I need a job but I can't function well these days & my check bounced to my new shrink because I didn't balance my check book right because I'm an idiot & I hate myself & I always hated people like myself & now I am myself & I hate runon sentances & here I am creating the longest one none to man because I'm stupid & ugly & fat & dumb & senseless & stupid & stuff & at least I'm making myself laugh.I want to reschedule my appointment with my shrink & I need to call her because I bounced the check & I don't know if she knows & I need to tell her & she's going to think I'm an ass (what a first impression) & I really need to see her but yet I need to reschedule because I can't afford to (catch 22). I hate that appt's are only 50 minutes when I really want to just see her for like a month straight to get myself fixed & move on with life as a normal person. That would make things so much easier. I don't want to be a work in progress, I want to be a completed work of art.
My blog has really made a complete change as have I - right down the fucking toilet & man it stinks. I obviously need to see my shrink. She was very nonchallent about payment. Would it be bad for me to go on Friday & mention immediately that the check was returned & that I will pay her with cash next week the return check, along with any fees? I just feel like a complete ass (which I am BTW - a complete & utter ass).
I don't want to to anything right now but cry and I don't even want to do that.
posted by Openfields @ 11:46 AM
