You are all wonderful for sharing your advice.
I so appreciate it. You're right - I am an idependant strong woman. I am not old fashioned with the exception of knowing that when you get married you're going to need to work at it - you can't just give up - or divorce rates wouldn't be so high.
I do want to note that when I said he's done it before I didn't mean calling me what he did - I meant overreacting (he's overreacted in the past). Sorry if I was unclear. In fact in our marriage & 5 year relationship before he has never called me a name. That's been a line we've never crossed out of respect for each other.
I'll fill you all in on the particulars later on today but I want to say one thing:
Men are like kids - sometimes you've just got to let them throw their tantrum & not let anything they say truly go to heart because in the end they'll learn what they did (was) wrong & want to (shockingly) talk about it!
We will be attending counseling (he even WANTS to!) but even before counseling we are now also 110% committed to talking & have both agreed to tell each other one thing each of us does each day that reinforces our love for each other (my idea - which he likes). It's so easy to take each other granted - we do NOT want to do that.
A relationship takes 2 & I fucked up too (not calling, not considering his feelings). Although my husband wasn't fully expressing himself - I didn't exactly offer up a comfortable atmosphere for him to do so. Marriage is about compromise & love. We had lost the compromise.
I will explain more later on (gotta get back to work!) but I wanted to thank you all for your help :-)
posted by Openfields @ 1:13 PM
