Oy!
Well, Nigel came over again last night. He needed to vent about an argument he had with his brother. He (his brother) suffers from depression & refuses to get help. While Nigel is usually sympathetic because he too deals with it on occasion as do a lot of his family members he became frustrated with his brothers ability to "give in" to his depression coupled with his ability to refuse to go on medication or see his therapist. Anyway, we talked a bit about it (me mostly listening & offering my 2 cents here & there). It means a lot to me that he confides in me. We have truely become good friends. Anyway, then we watched The Royal Tenenbaums (great movie) & he asked if he could spend the night.I of course said "Yea, you know you're always welcome here." & we went into the bedroom. Now, I was assuming that Friday night was an isolated incident so I didn't think anything of it until I started changing, took off my shirt, picked out a t-shirt to wear to bed, handed him my yoga pants to wear & noticed he had grabbed my t-shirt & was frozen-staring at me. Needless to say, I didn't manage to get the t-shirt back or on & before I knew it I was wearing well ... him. Hmmm ... friends? I'm thinking not. I have to say - it's such a turn-on when you lock eyes during - such a turn on!
Oh & I forgot to mention that earlier last week Nigel's friend "Scott" left a generic "What's up" comment on my Myspace page so I tossed one back at him. Not a 1/2 hour later Nigel called me to check-in/say hey (this was after we'd decided to date other people earlier in the week). Now, they work together & tend to check thier email/Myspace pages during their break (which is at the same time). Then, he comes over Friday night & last night ... coincidence? I don't know ... all I do know is I have/had no plans to date his friend - that just wouldn't be right & besides his friend is younger than him & I've learned my lesson with guys that young. What do you guys/gals think about that? My girlfriends at work don't think it's a coincidence but, Nigel isn't exactly the scheming type so it probably was just a coincidence. Or he saw it & it triggered some feelings for me? Eh, who knows.
That aside (well, sorta) I've decided that for now I'm not going to date anyone. I just don't think it's a good thing to do when whatever it is is going on with Nigel. We haven't talked about the dating thing again since we decided to not date anymore & since what happened (twice now) was so recent. I think we're both just letting what happens - happen. I hope it's the right thing to do. I don't want either of us to get hurt & I don't want to lose him as a friend because he's fast becoming one of my closest & dearest (& sexiest but, that's beside the point) friends.
That was good - I said "that aside" & I started writing about him again. Good job.
posted by Openfields @ 6:29 PM
